Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Someone needs an attitude adjustment

And I'm not talking about the kids (however, they are often in need of some sort of attitude adjustment at least 3 times a day). I'm talking about this momma right here. The last several weeks have just been tough on me. I've just been one big rain cloud, and in a total funk. I will wake up everyday refreshed and renewed and ready for a new day, only to want to scream and run from the house by 7:30 am (our kids get up at 7 people!). Not real sure why I've been in such a bad mood, but I just can't seem to shake it. I'm tired and irritated (not to mention pregnant, which is no excuse, but I've discovered through the other two pregnancies that while I may have an actual great pregnancy, I have zero patience or tolerance for stuff....add in two toddlers, this = very bad combo), feel like I am never getting a break and just tired of everyday life. Satan has been putting lots and lots of demons in my life that I am NOT very good at getting rid of. I've just been one big sourpuss....there's no other way to put it. Our kids have been driving me crazy, and because of it, I have had bad mommy moment after bad mommy moment. I feel like all I do most days is yell at the kids and take my frustrations out on them. So unfair. It's gotta make me a horrible wife, because I know I'm failing in the mommy department (thankfully, so thankfully, our children are loving and very very forgiving of me. I'm so not deserving). Everyday I tell myself, I'm going to have a good day, I'm going to be patient with the kids and not yell at them. Yeah right! Then they wake up, and all I hear is whining or crying, and by 10 I'm ready to start searching for a day job, or start crying (might as well join the kids!). Something to get me out! But I'm thankful still. I'm thankful for an amazing family, an awesome husband who puts up with my mood day after day and helps when he can and isn't busy with soccer. I'm thankful for children who still want to cuddle and love me no matter how many times I yell at them. I think what annoys me the most about the times I get in these moods, is that I know I'm truly blessed. I don't want to be frustrated with the everyday mundane things of life, I want to be happy and love what I do...but like everyone else, sometimes it just gets to be too much, and you reach a breaking point. This drives me crazy. For those of you who don't know me well, I'm a "do it yourself" kind of woman. I want to figure things out on my own and rarely ask for help. I want to be able to handle it all and do it myself. I want to have it all together and be content. I don't want someone doing something for me that I'm perfectly capable of doing....it's just the way I am. Anyways, I've had a good day today (the first in several weeks, not that I haven't had lots of great moments amidst the bad) so I'm optimistic that maybe I'm starting to claw my way out of this colossal "funk" :)

Enough about that....on to a bit of randomness:

My belly is growing, however, this picture is actually several weeks old. I think this was taken about 22 weeks, I'm 25 now, but you get the idea. I'm getting big:) I put on my bathing suit for the first time last week, and the first thought that came to mind was "whale" Oh boy, it's going to be scary by the pool later this summer! Maybe if I can get out of my funk, I will stop eating so much junk too and that will help with the "girly" pregnant figure (if there is such a thing!) So far baby Hutton is looking good. He's a little mover and I'm thinking that he should be pretty used to abuse by the time he actually gets here because his older brother and sister definitely don't respect the personal bubble of mommy's belly. They just jump and push all over it.
Hello crack! This kid is going to be a nightmare to potty train. And I've decided that he will probably have to wear a night time diaper until he's 7. He wakes up SOOO wet. This day, he was actually about to lose his diaper because it was so full. Pretty gross! I've even started cutting him off of liquids and hour before bedtime. Seriously, I think he stores up everything for night time.
This little one LOVES the little rocker my mom brought over from my grandma's house. I remember sitting in this thing when I was a kid. It's just her size and she sits and reads and plays in it all the time. It's pretty cute. Eli likes it too, but not nearly as much as Kamdyn, she is always in this thing!

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there, Sis. We all have those moments/days. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a terrific mother and wife. We love you! PS: love the crack shot! And, Kamdyn is getting SO big!

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  2. We all get those funks Krista!! You are not alone!! :) Just remember you are an awesome mom and you can always vent out on me if you need :)

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